Tell Me Baby, Whats Your Story...

Monday, March 08, 2010

Why are you taking so long Groupon?

Many are (im)patiently awaiting the announcement of the Live Off Groupon finalists. After submitting our applications February 24, we knew the wait would be long, but now we are in double overtime and the stakes are high.

Never before has the phrase "Many will enter, few will win" held such a prominent place in my mind.

Don't forget to support the Groupawn in his/her quest by joining the Groupawn Help Network!

What is happening at Groupon HQ in Chicago? We can only speculate...so I will:

After selecting the finalists in their late night screening, there was much discussion and disagreement among employees. What started as simple dissent soon became heated arguments. These arguments led to a cultural divide between Groupon employees. Tensions continued until Monday when employees returned to work only to find their office ravaged by tribal warfare. It seems that employees divided into camps supporting their favorite entrants and the only way to resolve their differences was battle!

While the contestants all waited with bated breath, mashing F5 every 10 seconds (CMD+R for our Mac friendly friends), a civil war raged within the confines of 600 W Chicago Ave. The only thing that can save Groupon and the contest is that merlin of deals, Andrew Mason. He returned to the office after a business meeting to find complete disarray, desks and computers smashed.

He quickly restored peace with a wave of his Groupon Wand (I'm sure he has one, if he doesn't he will get one soon..) The contestants should have been posted at noon (Chicago time), but since all the computers were smashed and cellphones used as ammunition, no one could update the website, or even post to a twitter feed.

What happens next? Well no one rightly knows...perhaps a Groupawn intervention where all the contestants race to Chicago to help rebuilt the Groupon empire...


....or maybe they will update the website later....

They have made up the rules thus far, who would expect them to follow any of our notions?

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